30 ways to annoy Proffesor Snape
by XxDarkWxX
Summary: My friend and I decide to drive our favriot potions Master to the brink of insanity. enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

bh123-i got bored and decided to make this! plz enjoy! ^.^

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter

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1. Stare at him. Just stare.

2. In the middle of class start laughing.

3. When he ask why say "Hehehe........squirrel"

4. Raise your hand in class and ask"Sir, do you know who you remind me of?" then say "you remind me of squidward. you have his nose"

5. Start crying hystarically and run to your emo corner everytime he says your name.

6. When he asks why you did that, blame it on PMS.

7. Pay Harry to lick his lips and wink everytime Snape looks at him.

8. Grab his face in between your hands and stare at him.

9. Then you wait.........and walk away.

10. Scream every time he says the word 'it'

11. When he asks whats wrong say nothing and look around suspicously *shifty eyes*

12. Tie and gag Harry, placeing him infront of Snapes office.

13. Leave a note that says ' Bring 1000 red skittles to the astronomy tower or the boy gets it'

14. When he leans over to check the contents of your potion, grab his nose, then put your thumb inbetween your fingers yelling 'got your nose!!!'

15. Run like hell.

16. Stand up on your chair in the middle of breakfeast and shout 'this goes out to our favriot potions master!!' then continue to sing the emo kid song at the top of your lungs and off key.

17. Poke him.

18. Hug him and scream 'I lurv you!'

19. Call out his name in the halleays. when he ignores you shout 'You can't stop our love!'

20. Continue to cry histarically intil he says he's sorry.

21. ask him why he likes potions so much.

22. When he's done ask again in about two minutes.

23. Continue to do this 'til he gets really angry.

24. When he's in the middle of explaining again shout 'I DON'T CARE WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?! JEESH!'

25. Walk away stomping

26. Sigh like a love sick school girl every time he looks at you

27. Charm his memory so that he dosen't remember what he did last night.

28. At the end of class, wink and say 'I had a lot of fun last night Professor..' Putting emphasis on Professor.

29. Send him great big red pink and lacy valintines day cards everyday for a month.

30. Run to Pro. Mcgonagall screaming ' Pro. Snape invaded my personall bubble! I feel so violated!' Sob into her chest. Watch what she does to our poor, poor professor.

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bh123- so.....you like? Plz dont kill me for the suckyness......(is that a word?) I'm thinking of writeing a story where my Oc's fullfill this list....and otherthings that my reveiwers might want me to put against Snape. Your choice so yea....tottelz!!


	2. Oc intro Antics 13

bh123-i got reveiws asking for it so here it is!! My oc Brandi Miller is going to full fill the 30 ways to piss off Snape! (if you have ideas of pranks that she should do fill free to ask!^.^)

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter

* * *

"God! I hate that man!!!" Brandi shouted, resisting the urge to bang her head against something.

"Brandi, how can you hate him? He can't even remember your name let alone remember to torture you because your in Gryfinndor..."Brandi's best friend Kai said, without even looking at her friend.

"But thats exactly my point! He wont even bother to remember my name!"Brandi ranted, pulling at her hair."How hard is it to remember the name Miller?! I'm not Brandi Morre, or Brandi Mcficklle!!! Gawd damnit it's Miller!!!!"

"So you just want him to remember your name?"

"Yes....."

"Then do something so big he'll have to."Kai said.

"..."

"..."

"Brandi....don't." Kai said dropping her book"He'll murder you."

"To late to try to talk me out of it! It' time for,drum roll please.........30 ways to piss off/annoy Snape!!!!"

"Yea, your gonna die.."

* * *

**First antict: Stare at him.**

_Potions Class_

It was another ordinary, boring day for Severus Snape. He was teaching a sith year potions class. Painfully normal right? why couldn't Snape get the feeling that somebody was watching him off his mind?Snape turned around to look at his class. Everyone was busy with their for one red-haired blue-eyed girl. Miss M........uh......the girl, was stareing at him. Nothing else...just stareing. She hadn't even started her potion....

Snape walked up to her and looked down at her.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Snape looked down at her potions book and saw her name scralled across the top. Brandi Miller.

"Miss Miller, I suggest you stop marveling at me and get to work."

"..."

"Miss Miller, start your potion."

"..."

"Miss...um...Mote?"

"..." Was it just him or did she look angrier then she did befor?

"20 points for Gryffindor and detention this Saturday." That would teach...whats her face to ignore him.

"..."

"Augh!!!"

* * *

**Start laughing in class for no apparent reason.**

Brandi smirked behind her hand and gave the most high pitched girly giggle she could muster.

Snape's head snapped up so fast, Brandi wouldn't be surprised if he gave himself whiplash.

giggle.

"Miss....um...you. Stop that incohherent laughing"

"hahah...."

"Did you not here what I just said?"

"Hahahaha!!!!"

"Stop that laughing at once!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! OH GOD MY RIBS! THEY HURT!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Brandi was rolling on the floor, clutching her sides.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!" Snape shouted. Brandi seemed to cease her laughing almost immediatly.

"Hehehe....squirells."

O.o  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**"Sir do you know who you remind me of?......'ve got his nose."**

"Brandi slowly raised her hand in the air.

"Yes ummmm.........yes do you have a question?"

_Damn Batsard still don't know my name......._

"Yes.....Sir do you know who you remind me of?"

"That holds no importance as of now."

".......You remind me og 've got his nose." Half of the clas could barely contain their laughter (all muggle-born or half blood of course)

"..."

"What?"

* * *

bh123-Bad....I know. But please dont flame! *crawls on the floor and begs*

anywhoz....Cookies for reveiwers!!!!!

*throws cookies*

^.^


	3. do you want my cookies?

bh123- this is my next chapter!....obviously.... any whoz!!! Snape! Disclaimer!

Snape: bh123 dosent own anything.......not even is brandi. and she is still considered a minor, so she belongs to her parents...

bh123- -.-'.....that really helps my ego.......

* * *

5. Start crying hystarically and run to your emo corner everytime he says your name.

6. When he asks why you did that, blame it on PMS.

7. Pay Harry to lick his lips and wink everytime Snape looks at him.

* * *

"Miss.....Miller? Yes miss miller can you tell me what you would get when you cross moonstone and-"

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!WHY!WHY'D YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME BOB?!" Brandi shouted 'crying' hysterically.

"Miss Miller that is highly inn-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Brandi shouted running to the nearest corner, then started to draw circles on the ground with her finger.

"Miss Miller get back to your seat!" Snape shouted."I refuse to deal with your inncompetence!"

'at least he's able to remember my name....' Brandi though. She continued to draw cicles with her finger. She was starting to culivate mushrooms. weird. "Think happy thoughts....rabbits and rainbow and ponys...oh no! The pony and rabbit are fighting!!! Run rabbit!Run! No!"

Snapes eye seemed to have a twitch in it....weird. Well...ignoreing Snapes soon to be menteal problem, he started walking towards Brandi. She looked up to see a very pissed off Potions Master in front of her. She sniffed and looked at him with pitiful sad eyes. "The bunny wabbit died."

"Miss Miller...."

"Wahhhhhhh!!!!"

"What has gotten into you?!"

"Ummmmm......PreMenestrulSyndrom, or more commonly known as PMS."

.

* * *

"No."

"Please Harry?"

"No."

"I'll pay you!"

"No."

"Buy you a new broom?"

"No."

"Get you a puppy?"

"No."

"Prove Sirius' innocence?"

"No."

"Give you a kiss?"

"Hell no."

"Get you a date with Ginny?"

"No."

"How 'bout I get you a REALLY big cookie?"

"..."

"..."

"How big?"

* * *

"Miss Miller? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

'He's getting good at remembering my name......'

"Yes sir?"

"Can you explain why Potter keeps winking at me and doing..." He looked over at Harry who licked his lips seductively."....doing _that_"

"Maybey he thinks you'd be tasty?"

"what."

"Umm...how do I put this? He wants you to consolodate you debt........in his financial institution."

"wha-?"

"It's a uthemisium....for sex."

"What?!'"

"God do i have to dumb it down for you?!" Brandi shouted. "He wants to suck your cock damnit!!!!" She shouted throwing her hands in the air and walking away. leaving a fumming Snape and a very hyper Harry nibbleing on a cookie in her wake.

mission: cause Snape a meantel scarring..

completed.

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bh123-so...how you think? and yes i did get that part from the death note abridged series. thx and goodnight!!!!! ^/////^


	4. Worst chapter ever

bh123- heyz! it's 1:57 in the morning so i decided to write another chapter ^.^............................don't judge me....

disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own snape either *sigh* I would have given him such a nice home too......

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** his face in between your hands and stare at him. **

**9. Then you wait.........and walk away.**

**10. Scream every time he says the word 'it'**

**11. When he asks whats wrong say nothing and look around suspicously *shifty eyes***

* * *

Snape had started to be cutious when walking around in the hallways. Brandi had started toe follow him everywhere....wait. Since when has he refered a _Gryfinndor_ by their first name? Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This girl was really grinding his nerves. Suddenly Snape felt something on his face. He opened his eyes to see Bran-Miss Miller holding his face inbetween her hands and stareing at him intensely.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

For some reason Snape felt his face get really hot. He began to notice that the student infront of him had the exact same color and length of hair as Lily's. And her eyes were only a shade lighter.

Snape leaned forward a fraction of an inch and.......

she was gone.

Now Snape will never admit to the thoughts he had just had about his student. But he would admit to the fact that they were quickly swept away by his next ones.

'What the f***? O.o'

* * *

Snape was teaching class..well more like lectureing. He was basically on auto piolit. Still think about the day befor.

"When you put the dragon's fang into the potion watch as it---"

"OMG!!!!!"

"Miss Miller....don't you think it's in----"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm not going to bother with it---"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

bh123-very bad I know........if you guys have any suggestions as to what I should put in the story plz tell.


	5. Im running out of titles

bh123- nobody seems to notice that for some strange reason snape is growing feelings for his student.....but what I want to know it should I end this story with them being together or should I break Snapes little heart with a rejection?

Snape:....-.-' bh123 dosen't own harry potter

* * *

**12. Tie and gag Harry, placeing him infront of Snapes office.**

**13. Leave a note that says ' Bring 1000 red skittles to the astronomy tower or the boy gets it'**

**14. When he leans over to check the contents of your potion, grab his nose, then put your thumb inbetween your fingers yelling 'got your nose!!!'**

**15. Run like hell.**

**16. Stand up on your chair in the middle of breakfeast and shout 'this goes out to our favriot potions master!!' then continue to sing the emo kid song at the top of your lungs and off key.**

* * *

"Ummmm.................Brandi?What are you doing?" Harry asked. He had woken up with Brandi sitting on his chest with a long rope in her arms. And frankly thats two things you never want to see.

"Hehehehe........." Wait....did her eyes just turn red?

* * *

Snape heard a knock on his dungeon door. When he opened the door he saw a tied gagged Harry. And......why the hell was he wearing a dress? There was a note tied to his hair with a bow.

_'Bring 1000 red skittles to the astronomy tower or the boy gets it_

_signed,_

_Dark_

_p.s. you can have your way with her.'_

"..."

"What the hell are skittles?"

* * *

Snape was slowly getting very parinoid. That girl, he still hadn't completely remembered her name, hadn't tried to do anything to him. Infact she was working intently on her potion. It was even the exact same shade as he had described. She probally did something to it......

He leaned over her desk and glanced at the potion....nothing seemed wrong with it. He moved his gaze towards his student. She was staring at him. She slowly raised her hand.........and pulled on his nose.

"Got your nose!!!!!!!" She shouted. The dungeons eprupted with laughter at the Potions Master.

"SILENCE!!!!!!"

The hall was quiet now. Nobody really wanted to die mind you. Snape turned around to yell at the cause of this problem

And she was gone yet again.

how dose she do that?

* * *

"Your crazy......"Fred and George said at the same time.

"No I'm not! I'm just going to show my appreciation to our dear Potions Master."

"Well....he just walked in. I suggest you do it now."

"okay..." Brandi said standing ontop her chair.

"Professor Dumbledor!!!!! Can I sing a song for our Potions master?!" After a smile and a nodd, Brandi started singing.

_Dear Diary_

_mood:apethetic_

_my life is spiraling down ward..._

Almost evryones eyes were on her now.

_you'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me_

_I have paint on my nails and make up on my face_

Brandi almost laughed at the look on Snapes face. He was absolutely fumming.

_I tell my friends I bleed black, and cry during classes  
I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth  
You can read me "Catcher in the Rye" and watch me jack off  
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life  
If I said that I like girls I'd only be half right_

* * *

All in all it took Gryfinndor two months of good behavior to regan all their points

* * *

bh123-so....howda like?


	6. I'm baaaaack XD

Yo wats homiez! I know I know...its been like years since I updated...but who cares here's the new one!

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

*someone throws a chair*

:O

*thonk*

DX

17. Poke him.

18. Hug him and scream 'I lurv you!'

19. Call out his name in the halleays. when he ignores you shout 'You can't stop our love!'

20. Continue to cry histarically intil he says he's sorry.

17. Poke him

Brandi had decided to use Harry's invisability cloak for this one. She was hideing under it wile standing next to Snape in

his second year Potions lesson. Brandi reached out and poked him in the cheek. Snape stopped insulting a crying hufflepuff girl

and looked aroung. After seeing nothing he went on yelling at the poor girl. Brandi frowned and poked him in the chest. This time

Snape did stop. He gowled and glared at the whole class.

"Whoever keeps nsisting to touch me stop it now or 50 points will be deducted from your house."

Nobody moved. Brandi wondered wether or not she should make the poor second years suffer because of her.

Ah what the hell sh hated kids anyways.

She reached out and poked him in the butt.

Snape screamed.

The children scramed.

Brandi laughed and ran out the room.

18. Hug him and scream 'I lurv you!'

"Brandi, don't do this..." Kai whispered. "It's not worth it..."

"Kai...I have to..." Brandi said softly, plaeing a hand on he friends shoulder.

"But...what if you don't make it? Your my friend Brandi...and it's to dangerous!" Brandi looked at her and smile softly. She looked at her with sorrow in her eyes and made her decision.

"Kai, I'm a Gryfinndor for a reason." She took a big breath and turned. Narrowing her eyes, Brandi took off in a full blown sprint, not knowing how her situation was going to tun out. Brandi leaped iin the air and...

Tackled Snape to the ground.

"I LURV YOU SNAPEYPOO!"

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!'

19. Call out his name in the halleays. when he ignores you shout 'You can't stop our love!'

20. Continue to cry histarically intil he says he's sorry.

"Hey Proffesor!" Brandi shoued catching up to Snape and walking beside him. Snape glared at her and continued walking.

"Proffesor"

"Professor"

"Snape"

"Snape"

"Snape"

Snape speed up his alkig and continued to walk. Brandi stopped and took a deep breath.

"YOU CANT STOP OUR LOVE!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP YOU INCOMPETENT GIRL!"

Brandi made tears well up in her eyes and started bawling loudly.

"I just wanted to show you how much i cared!" Snape ignored her and kept walking as if he didn't care. Which he probally didn't...

Bastard.

Yaaaay...yay for that...


	7. It's been fun dudes TT

Yo! Everyone keeps demanding that I update, and even more say that they'll throw sharp objects if I don't...

so because I love you guys, and I worry about The amount of time I have left in this world,

here's the next chapter!

well actually last chapter...

tell me if you want a sequel!

OoOoOoOooOo

21. Ask him why he loves potions so much.

he's done ask him again in two minutes

doing this until he gets angry

24. When he's done scream "I DONT CARE, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?"

away.

like a love sick school girl every time he looks at you

his memory so that he dosen't know what he did last night

the end of class wink at him and say "I had a lot of fun last night Professor" while putting imphasis on 'Professor'

him big fluffy pink valintines day cards.

to Professor Mcgonagall sobbing about how Snape 'invaded your personal bubble' and 'you feel so violated.' watch what she dose to our poor poor professor.

21- 25

yeah...many disturbing things happened...

I'd rather not talk about it...

but long story short the mermaids have made me there leader and I have made

demands for them to make me my personal Atlantis in the lake.

26.

*sigh*

Snape rose an eyebrow at the response that Brandi had when he glared at her.

Wha-?

She winked.

At him.

O.o

Brandi laughed in her head as she saw how Snape was reacting. She giggled and waved at him. Oh...I think he popped a blood vessel. That can't be good.

"Professor?"

"What..."

"I love you."

Snape glared at her.

*sigh*

Twas the night before School

when all through snapes house

not a creature was stirring

not even a mouse.

wait, never mind. Theres a girl in there. And it's not even his house it's hogwarts

just wanted to make sure you knew that.

Hey look! the girls doing something.

Brandi smirked evily as she rose her wand

_Obliviate_

Next day

It was the end of the last potions class for the year, Brandi was putting the last of her things into her bag, as she was leaving, Snape called her back.

"Now I don't know what it is that you've been doing throughtout the year but I hope that you mature over the summer." Snape said.

"Yes sir." Brandi said and started walking out again. When she made it to the door she turned around and said

"You thought I was plenty mature last night _Professor_" She smiled and waved at him." Hvae a nice summer Severus"

...

Fuck.

28.

Snape was watching the last of the kids get onto the trian when it happened

"SEVERUS SNAPE!"

Snape looked behind him and he saw something that no one ever wants to see

A very pissed of Mcgonagall.

Snape was never the same again.

27.

on the train

"Brandi I hope this means that your done with this suicide mission of yours." Kai said to her friend, as Brandi sent her owl out of the train window, with a big pink heart clamped in it's beak.

"Yeah I'm pretty much done now. Kinda sad that it's done." She said looking out the window sadly.

"Look at it this way...you have a whole summer to make another list for someone else." Kai said laughing. She stopped when she saw the smile spread onto Brandi's face. "Brandi, I was kidding."

"No way, I'm so doing it again!" She laughed loudly, she laughed harder when in the distance you could hear the distinct scream of one severus snape.

wonder who her next victim should be...

Okay! I'm done now! Please tell me who I should do next?

Voldemort

Draco

Death Eater number3

Harry

Hermione

The Dersleys

Aaron Hotchner XD


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